Looks Can Be Deceiving

When parties opt to litigate their divorce, that is, when parties use the adversarial court system, they will invariably be asking a judge to make certain decisions for them. Generally, those judicial decisions are borne of a failure of the parties to make their own decisions themselves. Litigation exhaustion and the incentive a party might have to get his/her “way” factor into why some people would rather leave the choice up to a stranger in a long, black robe rather than trying to collaborate and compromise.


But no matter how nice a judge may look, like this handsome guy, that person is a total stranger to the parties.

judge HM blog

Judges do not have the luxury of time and, I would suggest that, they do not have any real interest in getting to know the parties so intimately that they can come to the “best” decision. This is not to say that the result can’t be “fair.” However, when parties hand over their agency to make self-guided decisions, they expose themselves to the greatest inherent flaw in the judicial system: not having all the information.

The people who do have all the information are the parties. And when those two people enter into mediation, they are the ones to decide, they are the ones with the autonomy, they are the ones with the ultimate authority to govern the result.

Mediation is the place where empowerment is not only found but also encouraged. At Holistic Mediation, we honor this reality, which, in and of itself, is a luxury that only the parties have.

To learn more about how you can find resolution in the midst of conflict using all  the information, please reach out to Rob Brownson LMHC, at 978.479.2923 or to Jenna Brownson, Esq. at 978.760.0482.





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