Recently in the midst of a mediation session, Rob and I were asked, “What normally happens in this case? You know, what does the judge say?”
Time and time again, couples who have decided to mediate (instead of litigate) their divorce want to know “what happens when . . . ” And time and time again, I say, “That’s the beauty of mediation. The two of you get to decide what happens when . . . ” While it is true that most family and probate courts judges could do a pretty decent job of setting down the terms and conditions of an asset division and parenting plan from simply looking at the couple “on paper,” mediation permits the divorcing parties to be the “experts” of their lives and to be the ones making the decisions.
As a lawyer, I could take a fair guess at “what happens when . . . ” knowing that there exists something of a “rubber stamp” if a judge asked to decide for the divorcing couple. In fact, when couples end up litigating their divorces, that happens a lot: the judge makes a decision for the couple.
Holistic Mediation isn’t in the business of making predictions, speculating on “what happens when . . . ,” or telling the couple what they should do. Why? Because the two people best suited to make choices about the terms and conditions of a separation agreement are those two people who it affects the most, i.e., the individuals who are divorcing.
In mediation, there are no rubber stamps. There is open dialogue and collaboration. Holistic Mediation honors that sort of decision making as it done by those best positioned to make those choices.
If you or someone you know is considering divorce, please contact us to schedule a 1/2 hour free consultation to see if mediation would be right.
Jenna can be reached at 978.760.0482. Rob can be reached at 978.479.2923.