Recently in the midst of a mediation session, I was asked, “What normally happens in this case? You know, what does the judge say?”
Time and time again, couples who have decided to mediate (instead of litigate) their divorce want to know “what happens when.” And time and time again, I say, “That’s the beauty of mediation. The two of you get to decide what happens when.”
While it is true that most family and probate courts judges could do a pretty decent job of setting down the terms and conditions of an asset division and parenting plan from simply looking at the couple “on paper,” mediation permits the divorcing parties to be the “experts” of their lives and to be the ones making the decisions.
As a lawyer, I could take a fair guess at “what happens when” by knowing that there exists something of a “cookie cutter” that a judge might use to make the decisions for the couple. In fact, when couples litigate their divorces, that happens a lot: the judge makes the decisions for the couple.
Holistic Mediation isn’t in the business of making predictions, speculating on “what happens when,” or telling the couple what they should do. Why? Because the two people best suited to make choices about the terms and conditions of a separation agreement are those two people who it affects the most, i.e., the individuals who are divorcing.
In mediation, there are no cookie cutters. There is open dialogue and collaboration.
Holistic Mediation honors the decision-making when it is done by those best positioned to make those choices.
If you or someone you know is considering divorce, please contact Jenna at 978.760.0482.